Pregnant in Heels: A Word to the Wise

(Jessica Simpson, known for her super high heels, won't stop rocking em pregnant!)

It is the holiday season and there will be lots of parties and lots of places to  look so pretty. For my pregnant ladies, finding shoes may be difficult. And you'd probably be tempted to rock some cute high heels.  I mean, sure, lots of celebrities are rocking heels and looking fabulous! Surely..you can do the same! But please...have common sense and DONT DO IT!

In the spirit of one of my favorite bloggers, AwesomeLuvvie, I have decided to pen a sternly worded letter to these pregnant celebrities who insist on endangering their children AND giving a false impression to us regular folks that this is cool

Dear Preggers Celebs who insist on rocking 5 inch heels: 


I admit..I have never been pregnant at all. Not even the "Prom Night" Scare.... but I do have the good sense God gave a turnip.


Stop giving the impression that rocking 5 inch heels and being 18 months pregnant is the business, stylish and/or the "classy" norm. Not only is it dangerous, it is foolish! And you are making regular women think it is ok to rock heels that high as a pregnant woman.


Little do these women know, as they teeter-totter across the parking lot to the Mall and in the Motherhood store trying to get on the Black Friday sale, that YOU, dear stupid celebrity, not only rock those shoes just from the CAR DOOR to your seat at an event, but you are also flanked by a team of stylists, bodyguards, and folks who are looking out for the slightest wobble in your Louboutins.


What happened to embracing your cankles and just rocking a comfy Crock? OR a nice mid-heel Naturalizer or something? Why can't you rock some regular shoes? Dern..no one is gonna look at you sidewise if you rock a pretty maxi with some flats or kitten heels. Must you rock some daggone Tribute YSLs as your stomach sticks out and you cant see your damn feet? You are giving a false impression and now crazy women are rocking 4 and 5 inch heels and are about to pop. It's child abuse I say...


It's a gang of ya'll I can blame: Kimora Lee Simmons Honsou (idol or not...), Beyonce, Jessica Simpson, Rachel Zoe, Victoria Beckham, a gang of supermodels, and any other dumb ass who is rocking sky-high heels and pregnant. Just look how crazy ya'll look...

Rachel Zoe

Nicole Ritchie

Kourtney Kardashian

Beyonce

Kimora Lee

Victoria Beckham

I hate all of ya'll for placing fashion above you and your child's personal safety. One day I'm gonna get pregnant, get dressed up, and rock a pair of Burkenstocks w/ my fancy ass dress...because I'll be damned if I break my neck, lose my child, and look like a jackass most of all.  I know my center of gravity will be off! Lest we forget how Mariah Carey and Alicia Keys both fell on their asses in heels..and that was scary!


Please stop it! Keep it real and put on a pair of Uggs! Some people say I'm old fashioned..but look...which would you rather have: a broken ankle w/ a cute outfit?? or a safe pregnancy and moderately fashionable taste?


Signed, 


TheMochaPeach (A Shoe Fanatic who has good sense!)



So ladies, just don't! You do not have a team of handlers to help you off your butt. In the meantime, here are a few tips

1) Kitten heels are best, if not preferred. And you can find them for work, dress or casual!

2) DO NOT go over 2.5 inches. Just don't... 1 to 2.5 inches is THE MAX

3) Don't try and stuff your feet into tight, uncomfy shoes

4) DO NOT wear pencil thin heels (a la Louboutins, YSLs, or any high end stiletto brand). Go for more of a square or block heel if possible.

5)SUPER HIGH Wedges..TOTALLY OUT!!

Here are some fashionable and SAFE alternatives to rocking heels for REGULAR women...

For Weddings/Dress/Party

Naturalizer "Collide" $69

Steve Madden "P-Patty" $50.99

Ivanka Trump "Indico" $89.99

J. Renee "Kaylee" $99

Vigottie "Ulinda" $99

Nina "Culver" $79 (comes in 8 colors!!)

Nine West "Yuzu"  $79

Stuart Weitzman "Poco" $160

Calvin Klein "Dolly" $89

RSVP "Sadie" $69.00

And for Work...

SoftSpots "Marilee" $19 

Fitzwell "Melanie" $30

Clarks "Ruby Heart" $67.99

Naturalizer "Berrie" $45

Vaneli "Beryl" $47.99

Naturalizer "Merina Alex" $46.99

Rockport "Lilah" $82.50

Trotters "Jasmine" $46.99

Bass "Greenwood" $49.99

Cole Haan "Air Talia Mid Pump" $139.99

EasySpirit "Quent" $52.99

Cole Haan "Air Laney" $99

Bruno Magli "Elleboro" $120.30

See...aren't these cute, safe, affordable and STYLISH alternatives to teetering around looking dumb?

Yeah I thought so! :)